Where oh where have my blog posts gone??

I’ve been on the road, my friends, first a business trip and then a pleasure trip, so I thought I’d share a few of my experiences along the way.

For one of my earliest blog posts in June, I did a little commentary on how traveling for work can be such a joy…ie. nice hotel room, no cooking or laundry.

Now I thought I’d tell you about the underbelly of my business trip last week….a not-so-glamorous look at my venture up north.

I mean, really….how bad can a one-day trip to a small northern Canadian city be?

I’ve always imagined business travel to be an upscale, exciting adventure….buying books at the airport shop, chatting amiably with other first class passengers, attending stimulating meetings and conferences.

However, I’ve quickly learned that it depends largely on the destination…including whether your plane has more than 20 seats, food service and visible propellers that get tied up after you land.

Once a month, for my Education consulting job, I fly to a northern city in Alberta.  Further north than my city?  Shocking but true!

It shall remain unnamed, but let’s just say that a number of environmentalists worldwide hate the carbon footprint of this place.

My trip started with a perk…my rental vehicle turned out to be a big black Jeep Commando, all leather black interior.  Pretty sweet…but no one is here to see me in it!!

I take a photo just so I can show BoyGenius my wheels and make him suffer a little 🙂

Eat your heart out…BoyGenius!  Mama’s got herself some SICK wheels!!!

I’m just up for the day and arrive at noon aka LUNCHTIME.  I have a plan….I want to eat healthy and find free WiFi (so I can blog!), so I head to Safeway where I know there’s a Starbucks (the only one in town!). For my East coast American friends, Safeway is a nice grocery store, where I usually buy all my groceries when I’m at home.

When I get to Safeway, I figure I’d better visit “The Ladies’ Room” first, and then buy my lunch.

Uh OH!  Both Men’s and Women’s restroom doors are locked.  I wait a couple minutes….5 minutes…10 minutes.  Then I ask a clerk who is standing ACROSS from me, “Are the doors always locked?”  She replies, “Yep, we lost the Women’s key.  It’s lost. Can’t open it.”  Duh.

“How about the Men’s?” I inquire politely.  She informs me, “There’s a key for that one.”  Looks like she doesn’t intend to tell me WHERE this key might be.  Then a random customer 10 feet away calls out, “Here’s the key, over here!”  and I walk over to the Customer Service desk…where NO ONE is working or providing service.

I stare at the key, without picking it up.  This thing is frightening!  I don’t even want to touch it!!

The Safeway Restroom Key chain From HELL.

The key is tied to this horrific wire contortion with a pretty blue ribbon…probably from the floral department.  Nice touch.

My bladder is on the verge of bursting so I grab the key and hurry to the MEN’S room.  ugh.

But hey, this is SAFEWAY….the washrooms will be spotless.  Uh…nope.

The toilet paper dispenser was my first clue….

I guess the MEN don’t use toilet paper.

The sink was pretty gross…

I want to wash my hands AFTER I use this sink!

I’m sure everyone carefully reads the posted “How to Wash Your Hands” sign….which was filthy and covered with suspicious brown fingerprints….

Does anyone notice this information on personal hygiene?

After I’ve finished washing my hands (several times) and rush to escape this Restroom horror show, I spot these words scrawled on the back of the door….

Should I check for hidden cameras?

I scurry out of there with the hairs standing up on my neck and go buy my salad and tea.  I pick a scenic spot at the Starbucks tables, in front of a big window.

Here’s my view….

A shopping cart filled with 7 massive garbage bags.

I’m losing my appetite.  I pick at my salad, and a fly decides to join me.  Wonderful.

He doesn’t stick around for long…I’m sure he got word of the filth in the Men’s Room.  sigh.

At least now I can get online and visit some of my favourite scrapbooking websites, maybe even do a blog post.  lol! I have a couple of hours to kill before my meetings.

There is a sudden commotion behind me (my back is to the store).  I turn around…and the lights are OUT.  Power Outtage!!

This means no WiFi.  No Internet. No blog.

It couldn’t last long, could it? Yes, it could…and it did.  I waited half an hour….still no power and no WiFi.

I make like the fly and buzz outta there, and soon discover the entire city has no power.  All the traffic lights are out…and I’m stuck in the downtown core.  The vehicles crawl through the intersections, one by one, taking turns.

I might be driving a Jeep Commando but I certainly don’t feel like I’m in command.

And as I sit in traffic, I cannot get the image of that Men’s Room keychain out of my head.  I’m sure I’ll have nightmares about it.

The best part of the day was driving back to the airport….along the scenic route on that northern highway…

I imagine this trucker doesn’t think the Safeway Men’s Room is dirty.

But I don’t care anymore….because I’m heading Home Sweet Home 🙂

8 Comments on Road Trips

  1. Alia
    September 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm (5 years ago)

    Ah, Glad you’re home!! 🙂

  2. Cindy Gay
    September 29, 2011 at 6:02 pm (5 years ago)

    Bob always says trips like that are an “adventure” (you’re along for the ride. . . not much you can do. . .I’m thinking by the shape of that hanger they probably used it to unclog the sink. . . thank goodness for hand sanitizer!

  3. misty
    September 29, 2011 at 8:05 pm (5 years ago)

    You are cracking me up! You are such an amazing writer!! I totally felt like I was there with you but kinda glad I wasn’t. lol Were people looking at you strange taking pics of the keys? so funny…hope the next trip is much more appealing!

  4. Renee VanEpps
    September 30, 2011 at 6:14 am (5 years ago)

    Wow, it’s like another world there! I’ve never been to an unclean Safeway! Sounds like the trip from &^%$! Glad you commanded your way outta there! OH, that was bad wasn’t it! Really bad!

  5. reneabouquets
    October 1, 2011 at 6:01 pm (5 years ago)

    Oh this was just what I needed! Such a humorous take on your road trip. You have a wonderful writing style, you always draw me right in.

    This trip sounds like some of ours through Oklahoma. It is so bad there that my motto is, don’t stop to eat, drink, pee or sleep until we get to Arkansas boys!!

  6. Jeni O'Connor
    October 4, 2011 at 3:45 am (5 years ago)

    I think I know that Safeway. It’s somewhere down on the backroads of many places I’ve visited.

    Kelly you are such a treat for the soul. I think you were supposed to go devining with that key “charm”
    Love it all!

  7. Izzyb
    October 12, 2011 at 4:00 am (5 years ago)

    Hee, my poor dear! Now, I will have nightmares about bathroom key. Ick! Well, at least the power didn’t go out while you were in there. Though then you would have missed the message on the wall….Love the parting shot. Your trip really did lack glamour, I’m afraid, but you got a great blog post from it!


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